I was back in Chicago and Wisconsin for two weeks. Celebrated 4th of July in Chicago with my friends Kyle & Marc. Then up to Madison WI to celebrate my Dad's birthday.
It is always intersting going back to Chicago. I lived there for five years. San Francisco, as friendly as a town as it is, is not an easy place to make new friends. Part of it is my own fault I tend to be somewhat reserved when meeting new people. Now once I get to know you I will never shut up, but the introductions on the front end are something I never have been able to do as easily as others have. So as yet another birthday lurks menacingly at the end of this week I find myself a tad more introspective, and yes retrospective than usual.
Now dont misunderstand I love San Francisco, I have a fantastic job and moving here was one of the better decisions I have made. Yet there have been more an a few times lately where I have found myself, even after 4 years here, feeing like a stranger in a strange land.
Coming back to Chicago to visit is always good for giving me that broader perspective. It is like a tiny little trip back in time where you get to spend time hanging out with old friends and see a little bit of the old "me". That sounds so odd I know but oh well.
I am coming to the conclusion that my rumblings of discontent maybe slightly more than just geographic.
It's hard not to feel like the character Bobby from the musical "Company". When I moved to San Francisco, part of me thought it was to find my life. In retrospect, a very silly reason, and not to mention, a huge misconception. You dont find a life. You make one. Where ever you want to. My life has always been where ever I am. Be it Madison, Wisconsin, Munich Germany, Chongju, South Korea, Chicago Illinois, and even San Francisco, CA.
Or anywhere for that matter.
So why not?
Oh well... Blow out your candles old man, make a wish... want something.
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